Dating: What's the Point?

I think that, contrary to the anti-daters belief, there are positive aspects and a general point to dating. I do not that dating in the current social context is ‘practice for divorce,’ but rather it is the ‘hook-up culture’ that can lead to failure in future relationships. I think that dating is sort of a practice for marriage; you learn to care deeply about another person, as well as figuring out what qualities you look for in a long-term partner, and what you need from/contribute to a relationship.

Because of this, I think that the anti-daters are harming their future relationships. By refusing to date except under the expectation of marriage, they miss out on relationships or even friendships that can help them to learn more about themselves and what they want out of life. To me, it seems unrealistic (and kind of strange) to go into every relationship expecting marriage, especially in high school or in the first few years of college. Because we are still getting to know and understand ourselves, we change a lot during this time, and so what we expect from/give to relationships will change.

Along with the anti-daters, the ‘hook-up culture’ is also detrimental to future relationships. Although the meaning of the term ‘hook-up’ is unclear, it seems damaging to self-esteem, especially for the girls. The women in the Busted Halo article all mentioned how although they wanted a phone call/text after the ‘hook-up,’ they hardly ever received one. This turns special aspects of committed relationships into something casual and emotionless, and kind of debases its importance. I think that the loss of emotional connection in these physical expressions of love has caused many people to stray in relationships, and is a reason that the anti-daters (though crazy) have begun to see even dating (a really positive thing) as ‘practice for divorce.’

In the experience of my contemporaries and myself, I think that dating is beneficial. I agree with what Freitas and King say, we learn more about ourselves, learn to care about others, and grow as people. Dating is a wonderful way to get to know another person, and to grow to care about them in a special way.